1. In “Swordfishtrombones”, why did the doughboy get 30 days for lovin her from an Oklahoma governor? The judge should have done the sentencing. This verdict could easily be overturned in an appeal.

2. In “Picture in a Frame,” how did the sun come up blue and gold? Surely the sky was blue and not the sun, or an unprecedented astronomical phenomena went by otherwise unnoticed.

3. In “Eyeball Kid,” if he rolled off to join the circus, telling fortunes on the side, what was his main occupation? There are other logical gaps in this song (how does he breathe, how does he think, when he can’t even move and he can’t even blink?) but this one stands out among the others.

4. In “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis,” how does the hooker intend to drive a different car every day depending on how she feels? Where will she drive these cars? What if there are more moods than cars, or vice versa? Is it ethical for her to drive the used cars?

5. In “Tango Til They’re Sore,” the main character falls out the window with nothing to cushion his fall but confetti in his hair. This seems fine.

Please text all answers to HAITI.COM

Come on, man, I look forward to that show all week and the best weeks are when Paula Poundstone is on the panel. And it’s well known that Paula never wins the game, except at the exhibition matches they broadcast when they take a vacation. This week I could have enjoyed the suspense of wondering if she would maintain the lead she had going into the Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank Round, but that was all moot because of you. It’s fine to Tweet about the show, just be less specific with your 140 char. I know it’s not The Sixth Sense or anything but I still enjoy the drama, or I would if it weren’t for you. You a-hole, I bet you don’t even pledge.

The box was locked.  I guess I’m not.

Intentionally misusing the letter K is a familiar convention in the world of product naming. It connotes themes like cute, whimsical, or childlike. It is not suitable for all businesses.

I don’t know if other people feel this way, but I just see this and think, “Does that mean the rest of the room is crawling with bacteria?” Like they singled out this one item in the whole hotel to keep clean and the rest of it, you take your chances.

Also, please stop doing this to the toilet paper. It is for my butt.

It would be one thing if this photo were from October but it’s not. I just took it. Do you think that stuff has expired? And if I drink it will Battlestar Galactica make sense faster?

I was involved in the troubles once, but only by accident. Perhaps this is why my skill will never be ultimate. Taken at a sad restaurant in the saddest mall in downtown LA.